Month 10 of sobreity

First off who the fuck would of thought? not me! Trust me, not in a million years did I ever imagine not drinking, yet here I am. If you feel like it’s impossible for you or someone you love to get sober than you really haven’t seen some of the most hopeless people turn their lives around.Like so many of us in recovery have, it’s legitimately unreal.

Sometimes it doesn’t take hitting rock bottom to change your life and circumstances, I hit what I would consider “rock bottom” a couple times more than one should and I still didn’t see the issue with my drinking, I couldn’t realize how damn near every problem in my life stemmed from using. At first you don’t put together how drinking has any effect on say your sleep, or schedule, your job, your friend group, your looks, self care, your relationships, your self esteem, your attitude, ect… The alcoholic doesn’t have to be drunk every day to fuck up their life. They’re dry drunks, even when we are sober in between drinking we are assholes, we still have the alcoholic state of mind even when we are sober.

A lot of us are selfish, ungrateful, take zero responsibility for our actions and blame it on whatever trauma w’ve experienced and found justification for being an alcoholic. As people we have this idea that we are unique in our experiences, truth is we aren’t at all. That’s just our ego. While we may not live the exact same lives we all go through a lot of the same shit, we all are humans and trauma has a great affect on us. Most of us aren’t familiar with how to deal with our emotions, or fears, our character defects.

We have a responsibility as humans to get our shit together and overcome our hardships no matter what they may be, or how long it takes. AA has created an environment where we can do just that. I always found it ironic that people would judge others for getting clean, or being in AA, or in treatment, or whatever it is they need to save their life and evolve as a person. It’s almost like talking shit about a fat person at the gym. Why? you talk about them being overweight then you talk about them trying to better themselves. Understand that people will talk and they may not always understand or care to understand, they aren’t your problem. Hurt people , hurt people.

I can only thank god for getting me this far, 2 months shy of a year and never would of I thought I could Go a week without a sip let alone 10 months. It’s get better, it works if you work it.

Published by lexiirae310

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